Non Regretful Regrets

So much talk carefully saying so little.
Familiar lines in well known voice

Brings bitter tears to the heart and

Conscious knowledge of what I did. 

Seated comfortably to unfamiliar music.

Familiar response to homelike room;

Fripperies, elegance, nonsense and

Sharpness which is what I loved. 

A gentle hand found in the dark;

Ghosts of scent and senses respond.

Our untogetherness is senseless and

Yet this sweet lovelessness is deserved

All of night spent in careful non moving

Wakeful sleep; no rapid heart beat to

Betray uncomfortable feelings and

So to the morning and I must go.

From a million years ago. Dec 2011

Eyes of a Stranger

Strangers eyes meet
A smile exchanged
Do they see my inner glow
Rivers of pure lust
Bubbling up
Recognition of what is to come?

A fascination of feelings
Unstoppable in intensity
A curve of shapely lip
A glimmer of sparkle
Eyes drop downwards; time to run.
For him a semi regretful departure?

From Nov 2011. An exchange of tweets reminded me to put it on here.

The Door

A door thought closed in my mind
Opens when news of death hits home.
A door holding back memories of life
Before now, before knowledge, before.

A door of new friendship thrown open
In response to a confused lonely girl;
A door never shut to us at that strange
Never time between child and now.

A door into a world of laughter and
Light, easy times of warm delight.
A door to happiness, newness, with
Parties to raise roofs, glasses and spirits

A door mirrors her time, her beauty,
Living on because people like her just do.
A door to that 'other' links us with them
In rushing images untethered unbidden.

The door that takes the dead away
Will always remain open to remembrance.
The door that closes on those most loved
Will in truth be the one refusing to shut.

This door of losspain opens once more to
Remind me of people love, loved, gone
The door they emerge from to enwrap me
When I peer round, calling their name.



For my good friend's mother who passed away suddenly. Feb 2013.

Olafur Eliasson - Model for a timeless garden

Flashing flashing flashing
Strobing flashing strobing flashing
Black white black white

An array of jewels are there not there
Spread out like Hatton Garden windows
Diamond drops the same not the same

Glittering moving stillness arrested
Piece after piece burbles frozen monochrome
Both suspended in air and tied to earth

If light had a sound this is it
Splashing pulsating radiating waves
Fresh water like liquid ice melts

Like rainbows in moonlight
A watery game an insight into magic
Model for a timeless garden

Flashing flashing flashing
Strobing flashing strobing flashing
Black white black white

Model for a timeless garden, 2011 

Management Meeting Meop

How many times can you say the same thing?

Different ways

Round and round the table

Process mandatory pick up with the event of significant changes

All talking and no understanding

Communicating changes

Repeated views but merely louder

Definite definable outcomes easily auditable 

Blanket stares into the biscuits

Bottomless coffee 

Soporific gaze at clock going backwards

Publishing guidance on how to communicate

Red flagged emails read in a millisecond

Compliant lawyers

Responses required with no conscious awareness

Policy documents regarding multiple policies published

We are agreed

We are as one

We are a Single Remarkable Administration

New Year 2013

Shores of emotion 
Reflected in light 
Explosions to take us 
Into the future 

Swelling of crowds 
Noise increases 
Excitement of unknown 
Out of this world 

Climactic bursts 
Tensions are high 
Pulsating thrashing 
London's ablaze

Solid Sodium

Solid bodies under soft sodium hue
Moving swiftly in shades of orange.
As fast as they can, seeming oblivious

An unnoticed shadow scurries behind
Sometimes ahead, sometimes three;
People melt past in unconscious dance

Of black, pale and paler as light's cast
Circling, stretching, gracefully arching
A spectrally synchronised pas de trois

Gulls

Why do black headed gulls leave 

Me mournful? Circling clad in winter 

Plumage, rapaciously feeding

Against a heavy sky, braving the cold. 

Colours fading like their seasonal feathers

Leaving the scene melancholy flat 

An empty canal side distantly wind rippled; 

Rib-like foliage submits to inevitable fate
Whilst the still green stalks mutter, 'gloves,
Give us gloves!' How cold do the pink legs
Of the determined joggers look? Their hats
Worn, like the white fluff of the gulls.

A cloud goes bang; mistaken early firework
Too early, too grey, too chemical red.
But the group of gulls used to the quiet
Dissipate to perching safety to survey
Drear water; suddenly the air is empty
Not even a gull to enervate the gloom.

Rain

Holding hands and stepping forward

A trust in each other a trust in the sky

That the rain will stop and the love that will not

Catching a breath. Stop. Look up.

Silence as rain falls all around

Silence as moments slow motion fall

A promise in rainbow, no unweaving here

Just a presentiment felt and deeply seared

Refracting in black, illuminated in dark

Let endless drops move to our rhythms. 

Jury Service

I meant to post these poems ages ago. They were inspired by jury service and progress from the waiting around, to the case and finally the feelings I was left with at the end.


Waiting

A boredom of faces wide in types
Some simply vacantly staring
Many in REM
Others engrossed in curly eared novels
Or Nintendo games

The silent hum of patient people
Punctuated by terse tannoy
A call to attention
Read instructions guaranteed somnambulance

Suddenly over
A shift in gear and queues form quickly
Confusion. A puzzled face
People promptly depatched
I'm still sat here waiting listening to snores
Wish I was at work!



The Case

'I didn't mean to stab him til I stabbed him'
Pronounced the irresponsible immature
Alcoholic
Living separately together in family unit

'I did it in self defense'
Continued the gentle non aggressive
Best friend
Who shows no sign of injury

How much force to penetrate an ear?
How much force to puncture a lung?

'I remember nothing'
Announces the confused life saver life taking
Brother
With bloodstains engraved on his soul

'I don't know where I put the knife'
Evades the scared ill advised unfortunate
Young man
With the knife in his pocket

'I went downstairs to see if everything was ok'
Reflected the worried, shocked, vacant
Murderer
Who knelt to breathe life into bloodied lungs

How much blood in chest cavity to kill?
How much air to escape until life extinct?


The Sentence

No words to describe
The grief
Caused by that responsibility

'Take him down'

Reverberates
Resonates
No escape
Locked together for life

György Ligeti - Poème Symphonique For 100 Metronomes

Sounds of beating cicadas singing the day
Hammering out song brashly bright

Lying awake listening to warm rain
These machines tapping insistent patterns

Mechanical toy chattering madly until
Slowing. Lazily. Grinding. Halting

Clattering hooves of horse drawn hearse
Pulling their load into quiet distance

Final rewinding of internal clock
Gentle, with care, of old mechanism

Counting our life's minutes seconds
Dying away. Final clicks. Slowly 

Double desynchronising momentum 
Profound phasing in and out  

Single heart beating life 

Alone

Ceases

Tiny blue

Gleeful spirits sailing
Soaring and bubbling their
True delight in the air

Gravity free flying
Butterflying blue
Tiny rarity in the air

Following haphazard joy
Curiously, knowingly

Captivated by colour

Powdery hues dancing

Sparkling eyes watch
Their blurring turquoise air

For the splendid @classicpassion

Millennium Bridge Soundscape

Serenity bustles by businesslike
Water music accompanies the crowd
Discordant chords sooth the sky
Which turns from colour to silver
To match the glistening notes
All around us

Waves of people; waves of river
In unconscious unnoticing synchronicity
Shafts of light rising and sinking
In time, out of time, eternal histories
Whispered and felt and insistent
All around us

Titian Poem

Static against the shifting;
Rippled reflections more real
Than reality. Materiality of
changes seen in glass, pearls,
Eyes belying senses choice.
All ideas, bodies, minds in flux


And this for the Twitter version

Static against shifting/Rippled reflections more real/Than reality. Materiality of/Changes seen belying senses/All ideas in flux #titianpoem

Virgin Nature

You can dress it up how you like
That statute of the Virgin under
That symbolic Cross of Roman torture

They look out across the dividing strait
Overlooking the slanted rocks
Formed millennia ago long before us

That's no young Christian god for me
It's ancient, spirits of ages long since Here; as sea beds rose, so did they.

Look, listen, eyes closed, body prone
In the deafening peace of the solitude.
Feel their pulse in the waves, light, sound.

Yes the Virgin stands with flowers there
See her, admire her for her pagan past
She is timeless nature, sublime and true.

Epic Poets

Oh, you bards of old with your tales
Of changes, voyages and wars!
How easy it is to imagine you
Looking around and listening and taking
Dictation from gods direct.

The sea invites the intrepid,
Rocky inlets to shelter the brave
To moor safely and trees to shade.
Lighting fires for home hearths and gather
Telling eternal stories of might.

The hills encourage the hardy;
Neither shelter nor cave is seen
The loneliness of black speck soars.
Still, the grey scrub offers scented breeze
A perfect stage for those ancient giants

As the sky darkens and storms roll by
Violet flashes illuminate the bay
Where are you now, oh bards of old?
Spin us your threads, carve us your heros
A night like this speaks your thunder.

Daydream

Hand prints
Evidence of touch
Yearning pale skin
Rising to meet

Mind prints
Sight of exploration
Flickering images
Lighting the eyes

Body imprints
Echo of sensation
Rhythmically moving
Swaying with lust

My Great Aunty Phyllis

A lifetime away; another world.

A memory of farm, warm kitchen

A basket of kittens, a new pet

A whisking of eggs, dessert made

A multitude of people, friends all

A tree of cherries, pink tongues

A Victorian loo, too high for me

A white garden gate, coming home

All images to carry, she's there still

A loved lady, a precious aunt. 

Phyllis Mary Boulcott (nee Jones) of Much Cowarne, (formerly of Home House, Bringsty). Died peacefully at Hereford County Hospital on June 5th, 2012 aged 89 years. Much loved wife of Percy, mother of Jean, Pam and the late John.

Moon

My eyes drawn upwards,
Bright lights direct
Destination moonlight;
Hematite heaven draped
With dainty weblike clouds.
Artificial vented wisps
Compete to clothe the sky.
Yet moments romantic,
Illuminated by silvery sky,
Between my soul's windows
And the unattainable moon
Reflect veiled drifting
Dreams of longing love.

Sea Sky Earth

Sea stripes
Turquoise slices
Pebbly froth
Flinty golds
Rhythmic diamonds
Across the bay


Trees tower
Malachite fibrous
Leafy frills
Wispy verdure
Still dewy pearls
Across the sky


Fields enclosed
Emerald facets
Grassy fronds
Tamed nature
Scatters floral gems
Across the earth